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26-year-old stay at home wife

I'm a 26 year old millennial wife, in the "prime" of my career & I would prefer to be a stay-at-home wife.

Now, I’m not making this statement because being a stay at home wife would be easier than my current work situation. I’m making this statement because I would prefer to be taking care of my home. This doesn’t mean that I don’t love my job, but as I grow older, my values have shifted. I knew this day would come, I wasn’t expecting it to be so soon.

When I was in the 3rd-grade my teacher made us write letters to future selves. In this letter, we had to state what we wanted to be when we grew up. My 3rd-grade self said “International Accountant.” While other kids were saying firefighters or movie stars, I said, "International Accountant." At age 26 I hold a degree in International Business and Finance. I guess my childhood self knew me best. I always knew that I wanted to have a career but I also wanted to be a stay at home wife or a mom. This wasn’t because I thought it would be an easier life, but because that's what my mom wanted to do and she couldn’t. My mom was the main breadwinner, my dad was a butcher, he made money, but my mom was head of household.

When my mom was in grade school, her teacher asked the same question, her response was, "a house wife." Her teacher ended up laughing and pointed out that to be a Domestic Engineer you need to get college degree. And it takes a very special person to want to commit their lives to something of this nature.

At least, you need to know to be a Chef, an Accountant, a Housekeeper, a Teacher, an Event Planner, a Chauffeur, and a Nurse.

I'm not even sure if there's a school for Housekeeper or Chauffeur - wait, I googled it, there is! This is more about the principle. You need to have a general understanding of how to do household basics. Areas such as, financial management, culinary, childhood development, education, communications, psychology, and nursing. These are only some of what it takes to run a functioning household. We are talking about household management and all that comes with it.

It's more than making dinner or giving your kid some cough medicine. And it's more than trying to look kept before your husband gets home and before he wakes up. You are the CEO of your household.

This whole concept may sound crazy in 2019. And some people would even frown upon the thought. There are plenty of working moms and wives who are rock stars - and kudos to you my friends. Not everyone has the same values and thanks OK.

I got married in December 2018 and living life as a newlywed has been great! The more seasons that pass in my marriage the more I want to retire from corporate America. Rather than sitting in an office working a 40+ hours, I want to be home making my house a home.

Now, there comes a time when you need to take a vacation from life. Sunbathing on a beach in Barbados with a Pina Colada in hand is always a good way to go. But vacationing just isn't enough for me.

Honeymoon in Barbados

Society says that everyone is supposed to work until the day you die or retire, whichever comes first. As for myself, I have plenty of bills that need to be paid (mortgage, student loans, etc.). Yet, the emphasis of wanting to enjoy life while you're still living doesn't seem to be an option for the average person.

Now, I'm not trying to come across as being impractical. We all need to work to make money to pay bills. But think about it, we work, to make money, to pay bills, and repeat. This is pretty much everyone's life. I’m not saying you don’t go on your weekend getaways. I’m not saying we are working like a bunch of maniacs and do nothing else but work, but for the some of us, this IS all we can afford.

I once heard a comedian make a crude joke talking about people who go on cruises. He said, for some, being able to go on the cruise was all they could afford. While others have the pleasure of getting off the boat and paying more for excursions. Everyone laughed but this is a luxury! These are where you make your memories. All I'm saying is that I want to be able to make more of these memories and not have to wait for the next cruise to come along.

The average amount of PTO companies allot is 2 weeks. If your lucky and work for a company that grants you "unlimited" vacation or PTO, congrats! I've had the pleasure of experiencing both sides of this corporate luxury. To have 10 days out of 365 to use for vacation time is absurd. Having unlimited vacation is never unlimited.

On my honeymoon, I was contacted many times by a previous employer trying to get me to assist on an assignment.

ON (claps)MY (claps)HONEYMOON(claps)!

Needless to say I Thank You, Next'ed that.

Sometimes unlimited doesn't mean off the clock. Having unlimited vacation in most cases means, take the time you need! as long as you have WiFi access, your golden. And other times, in cases like my husband, he has an unlimited vacation in which he doesn't use! So then what happens? he loses it!

We simply can't afford to take the time off that we need to nurture our marriage. One week of PTO is sick time, doctor appointments, pop up emergencies. The other week is our yearly anniversary trip. Of course, we have weekends, but let's be real. We are both adults and while we are married and having our weekly date night, we still are individuals. We both of lifestyle habits we need to maintain. That may look like, going to the gym or running around to a nieces birthday party, or taking a mental health day. Our days and weeks fill up with so much. I never want to be the person who looked forward to the weekend since the weekend is ONE DAY. We spend more hours in our places of employment then we will ever spend at home than with our loved ones.

At the end of the day, I want to be able to take care of myself, my body, my home, my mind, my husband, and my well being.

The closer I get to reaching my goals, the more I want to take care of my home.

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